Did you miss me?  Sorry for the extended hiatus once again, but I was busy being cooped up in a metal box for days on end, plus I had to go ahead and lose all of my money to various undeserving casinos and their patrons, so I've had no time to reflect on the world of sports.  Many of you are probably expecting to read (or at least skim) some bitter, semi incoherent rambling post about Tom Brady's left knee and the dirty Chiefs and the especially classless fans of the NFL who actually had the gall to celebrate and commemorate a horrific injury to the league's best player, but I've gotta leave something for Simmons to do, so that will not be a part of my post today.  Instead, I'm going to hide from my problems inside the twisted world of the NBA, where my beloved Boston Celtics are still champions, and my mistresses, the Portland Trailblazers are looking better than ever and are brimming with talent and potential.

Continue reading "Little Wing?"

I’m still fighting against the tide here, but my daily transformation into Bill Simmons continues nonetheless.  I’m at work, without a great idea for a column today, but I have to write one so… let’s have some fun with the NBA Trade Machine (woooooooo!).  Cue the sirens and the balloon drop (what’s that, the Republicans used them all during their convention?  Shit!). 

Seriously though, I have a crazy idea, and the trade machine says it works, which means (here’s the part where I sound like Simmons…) that I’m going to spend an entire column telling you all about why this trade that will never ever, ever happen definitely should and will happen.  Are you ready? Let’s get on with it then.

Continue reading "Change of Scenery?"

I just want to throw it out there that I’m in total football denial over here.  As far as I know, there is no NFL, and hence no knee injuries or crushing home losses to the bottom feeders of the AFC East.  It’s just too painful.  In a concerted effort to distract myself from what is definitely not happening right now (New England redemption?), and in an attempt to stay current with my local surroundings, let’s talk basketball.

Specifically, I’d like to talk for a little bit about Rudy Fernandez, Portland’s newest rookie darling, who arrived with quite a bang in Portland earlier this week.  For those of you not in the know, Fernandez is widely regarded as one of the premiere (if not the flat out best) players in all of Spain, and made a HUGE splash in Spain’s dramatic loss to the United States in the 2008 Olympic Basketball gold medal game, raining down threes, making plays and putting Dwight Howard on a poster with a fierce slam dunk down the stretch.

Continue reading "Welcome Distractions Courtesy of Spain"